Defining Our Shadow Side: Shadow Work
The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality. No one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort and self awareness. This is called shadow work. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspect of the personality as present and real. This act is an essential condition for self-knowledge, and we often meet it with considerable resistance. We repress these shadow elements of our personality and choose not to be identified with them.
Shadow lurks in the deep recesses of the psyche. We bury it in the heart and in the mind. It is part of us. It follows us, frightens us, and it comes to us in different ways. But it always appears somewhere. The shadow is not a mere concept or a matter of perception. It is very real.
Just as there is light, there is also darkness. It is not possible to deny the shadow element. It is usually the worst side of a person. The courageous person may have a cowardly shadow. The kind and caring person may have a cruel side hiding behind all that softness. Everyone, even the most respected leaders, has a darker side that shows through sometimes. Do they really know themselves or have they denied their shadow element? They may find their views, their words, and their actions in conflict. This is not intentional and the internal shadow conflicts they cannot deal with come to the surface at the worst moments.
Is it possible to ignore or avoid the shadow? When we are at the lowest point in our lives, shadows haunt us. It is that part of ourselves that we leave in the closet as we face the public and put our best foot forward. Hide them, deny them, suppress them, they will not vanish. Our actions may end up attracting these shadows into our lives in other ways.
Do shadows affect our lives? Do they mean anything? Shadows come in many forms. They can come as temptations, obsessions, addictions, co-dependency and other forms of indulgence. Shadows appear in the darkness cloaked in fear; shake us at our core. We can also show shadows as projections. It can be a dislike of certain traits in people, unjustified and unexplainable. We don’t like what we see; perhaps it mirrors parts of us we choose to ignore or may not even be aware of.
Are you comfortable with your friends? If not, ask yourself, why do you hang out with them? Do you judge them harshly? If so, why do you share your precious time with them? Do you make a compromise that you can not meet? What about when you get angry at the slightest provocation by the same person? There are times we look for our shadows in the face of other people. We even attract them into our lives. Buried deep, these shadows may drive us to places we dare not go.
Experts would say it is not wise to deny the shadow element. They believe the only way is to confront it, deal with it and work through the conflicts it creates.
Each person has their personal demons to deal with and to face, otherwise, it follows us in less conscious ways. There are lessons from the shadow element. To realize it, we need to go deeper into ourselves. We can take the good. Work with the bad, see the light, face the darkness without fear. It is essential to delve deep within ourselves. Confront the anger seething under the skin.
We are not perfect. No matter how many dark clouds hover above us, no matter how long the dark night is, light will surely come. These dark nights offer a chance to enrich and nourish our spirit, our soul, and our lives. It helps us to align ourselves with our highest purpose. By striving for greater balance, endurance, and perspective, we generate more personal power and strength.
